You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail. (Proverbs 19:21, written on Kristian’s recovery whiteboard today)
Expectations are a funny thing.
I never expected to meet my wife on Tinder. But months after swiping right (and rightly), I knew that I had found my partner for life.
I expected to be moving into our new house with our new baby, without incident, on July 12. But on that day, I sat for hours beside Kristian’s bed, waiting for her to emerge from a coma.
I never expected to suffer a catastrophe like this just months into our marriage. But fate dealt us a hand that nobody’s wisdom can begin to explain, and here we are.
I expected I would have to wait months to hear her speak again. But less than a month after the accident stole her voice, a tiny whisper came back, and it grew stronger with each passing day.
I never expected that simple things like watching Kristian joyfully eat my food or feeling her fingers pick their way through my hair to scratch my scalp would nearly move me to tears. But these simple joys have become the things that I look forward to most each day.
I expected that I wouldn’t hear her say my name until long after my birthday. I even asked weeks beforehand for her to try to work up to it, as a sort of gift for me. But today, three days before my birthday, we’ve been trading “I love you’s” and “I love you too’s” back and forth for nearly a week.
So maybe I should begin to change my expectations.
I expect for Kristian to heal more fully and completely than anyone has predicted. I’ve seen the way she commits to a challenge. I’ve seen how the Creator has already begun to miraculously heal her mind and her body. To expect otherwise would be foolish.
I expect that the road ahead of us will be more difficult than we ever could have imagined, but will bring all of us closer than we would ever have believed. I don’t suspect that senseless suffering is ever ordained, but persevering through that pain can bring peace out of destruction, and hope out of despair.
I expect that whatever Kristian does after her health is fully restored will be exactly what she is still on on this earth to do. I am blessed to still be here as her partner, and to help her to complete those amazing things. There is much more that can, and will, be done.
I expected less. I should expect more.
Thank you all for your continued prayers and steadfast support. We still need it.
Together, we will rise.
- Jason Edwards